Frostbite
by MufasasPride
Summary: Sousuke couldn't deny his affection for Rin made him misty-eyed about Christmas, and it came to his ruin, making it all the more difficult for him to say no. (Christmas oneshot)


**Ho ho ho, 'tis the season to be jolly. The following is my Christmas gift to my dearest fellow depraved soul, sexythroatbitchohyescats, and I decided to share it with you all as well.**

 **Warning: There is a tiny bit of blood at the very, very end.**

 **I don't own _Free!._**

* * *

Sousuke had never been a fan of Christmas.

Christmas was a cesspool of everything that annoyed him, with its heaps of glittering, assaulting decorations, careless expenditures of money, and insufferably perky songs. People covered up or excused their garish frivolity and greed by assuming a front of gratitude and warmth, only to inevitably return to their usual selves by January. Sousuke didn't dislike the holiday enough to refuse to celebrate it, but he couldn't enjoy Christmas unto itself. However, he came upon his own frustrating personal paradox: he didn't like Christmas, but he loved Christmas time. Despite his apathy for the holiday alone, he always looked forward to it, a time filled with warmth and nostalgia for him. The cause of his contradiction, his primary source of everything wonderful and disastrous, was Rin.

Unlike Sousuke, Rin loved Christmas. He didn't love it in the way that Nagisa did, who wore reindeer antlers everyday for a solid two months preceding the holiday, or in the way Makoto did, who went out of his way to find the perfect gifts for all of his friends. It was the only time of the year where Rin could breathe and remove himself from his perpetual toil for perfection. A relaxed Rin was a rare sight, and Sousuke, the older of the two, was always concerned about Rin's potential for self destruction, which flared brightly some years, and less others. But without fail, every Christmas, Rin was able to stop and have fun without stressing about swimming or school or anything other than keeping Nagisa from doing something stupid (well, more stupid than usual). Sousuke couldn't deny his affection for Rin made him feel misty-eyed about Christmas, and it came to his ruin, making it all the more difficult for him to say no.

Which was how he found himself at Nagisa's Christmas party.

Upon pulling up into the driveway, Sousuke was blinded for a moment by neon lights blazing from every inch of the house, a beacon of hell amidst the night time around it. Eyes watering, Sousuke squinted through the windshield of his car, trying to gauge what exactly he was looking at. Nagisa inexplicably loved a bombardment of stimulus, and didn't care much about whether someone else might have a stroke. There were lights everywhere- draped on the house, the trees beside, the windows, even some laid in the snow. They were every imaginable color, and most flashing or continuously changing to other hues, leaving the overall image of the house as constant, flurried, spasmodic movement. Sousuke felt like he was looking at some drug induced Christmas nightmare.

Aside from lights alone, Nagisa had set up several inflatable seven foot tall Christmas themed figures illuminated from within. One of which was a snowman, its top hat coyly tilted and its soulless coal eyes leering at Sousuke. He wondered at first why Nagisa hadn't just _made_ a snowman, since there was plenty of snow on the ground to do so, but then reminded himself that Nagisa liked to make a show, and a three foot, unlit snowman just wouldn't cut it. To the side of the snowman was a massive inflated emperor penguin, automated for its flippers to rise and fall in what Sousuke imagined was supposed to be inviting, but instead appeared strangely ominous and foreboding.

In the passenger seat beside him, Rin let out a snort. Sousuke turned to look at him, his eyes falling upon a bemused smile and eyes reflecting the hellish lights. It had been awhile since they'd seen each other in the flesh. It was their second year of university, and with Rin training in Australia and Sousuke in Tokyo, they'd barely caught a glimpse of each other anytime other than holidays. Rin was far better at keeping in contact with Sousuke now than he had been his first stay in Australia, and they spoke almost constantly, but it wasn't quite enough. Sousuke missed his best friend and wanted to see him more than just a couple of times a year. He had great friends at school, but they weren't Rin. No one could replace Matsuoka Rin.

After all, he loved the damn prick.

Rin chuckled lightly and turned to look at him, his maroon eyes bright and vibrant. "Are you ready for this?" he asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

Sousuke sighed wearily. "Let's just get this over with quickly," he muttered.

Rin amiably patted his shoulder, looking like he was enjoying Sousuke's suffering. "Let's go," he said, smiling warmly. He unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed open the door, stepping out of the car.

Sousuke sighed again, reluctantly unbuckling his own seatbelt and slipping out, slamming the door behind him to quiet the beep from the car. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and took in a lungful of crisp winter air, trying to quell the creeping sense of dread in his chest. It didn't work. Rin was already ahead of him and approaching the front door, which had a violently pink and purple wreath hanging on it. Rin briefly glanced back over his shoulder, cheekily quirking an eyebrow at Sousuke. Sousuke rolled his eyes and let out a puff of frosty air, treading across the crunchy ground.

Once Sousuke was to his side, Rin lifted up a hand to ring the doorbell. It rang brightly from inside, masking the dull pulsing beat of music. The only thing worse than Christmas music was dance party Christmas music, and Sousuke's apprehension reached a toxic level. It threatened to boil over as the pattering of excited feet came from the other side of the door.

The door whipped open with a bang. "Rin-chan! Sou-chan!" Nagisa grinned broadly, or appeared to from beneath a fake white beard. He was dressed up in a full Santa Claus getup, his short body clothed in a gigantic red and white suit with a matching hat plopped jauntily on his blond curls. "You guys are here!" He leaned forward and grabbed them both by the wrist, his magenta eyes sparkling with excitement. The moment his small fingers fully wrapped around their wrists, he yanked them into the house with surprising force, making Rin yelp and Sousuke grunt in complaint.

Hat bobbing, Nagisa giggled and refused to let go of their wrists, proceeding to drag them through the entryway to the living room of the house. Sousuke was under the impression that this house was technically Nagisa's parents', but they were away for the holidays and let Nagisa stay there while he was on break from university. Evidently, he'd done much more than stay there; it was decorated much as the outside of the house was, with flashing lights and reindeer and snowmen and penguins. Wafts of sickeningly sweet gingerbread fluttered through, tickling Sousuke's nose, and a particularly atrocious dance party rendition of "Here Comes Santy Claus" thundered from unseen speakers in every room of the house. Sousuke swallowed, a lump in his throat, his stomach clenching in discomfort.

"Ta da!" Nagisa announced once they made it to the living room, releasing them from his clutches.

It seemed as if every person Nagisa knew had been crammed into the house, most of them Sousuke had never seen before, but there were three people he recognized. Makoto, of course, was friendly and warm, immediately coming up to them and asking about how they were doing, his bright green eyes shining from behind black framed glasses. Rei apologized on behalf of Nagisa for the decor and music choices, deeming them "not beautiful". Nanase stood a bit behind Makoto's shoulder, saying hello to Rin and politely nodding to Sousuke.

After about a minute of friendly small talk, or rather shouting over the blasting music, Nagisa cut in like a knife and plopped down on the nearest (somehow empty) chair, his eyes predatorily aimed at Rin. "Rin-channnnnn," he intoned, a terrifyingly sweet smile on his lips. He patted his lap. "Why don't you come tell Santa what you want for Christmas?"

 _Nope._

Sousuke ejected himself from the conversation and made a beeline for the spread of alcohol.

He ignored Rin's "Oi!"at being left to fend for himself against Nagisa, and continued with his sights set on the popular table in the kitchen. Knowing Nagisa, it was unsurprising that he had such a vast array of alcoholic drinks available, most of which Sousuke had never seen. He ended up selecting a somewhat innocuous wide bottle with amber liquid in it, quickly pouring a glass and swallowing a mouthful. He didn't particularly like the taste, but he didn't dislike it either, so he took another sip, relishing the warm burn at the back of his throat. After he swallowed, he sighed and lowered the glass, remembering how he was the one driving. He did _not_ want to be trapped at Nagisa's house overnight because he was too drunk to drive home.

Sousuke ended up carrying the glass with him as he took up standing in the corner of the kitchen, watching the people mill about and chat around him. To his relief, Rin abjectly refused to sit on Nagisa's lap and moved onto talking to a couple of people Sousuke didn't know. As Sousuke remained in the corner, occasionally sipping from his glass, he kept his eyes on Rin. Rin gradually acquired more people around him, like moths drawn to a flame. It wasn't surprising. He was charismatic and outgoing, and a skilled athlete training at a prestigious school in Australia. He always attracted a group of people interested in him, unlike Sousuke, who didn't have that vibrancy and extraversion. But he didn't mind; he, like everyone else, was drawn to Rin's flame.

Luckily, no one bothered Sousuke in his corner, and he stood there watching over the party with ample time to fully absorb the horror of Nagisa's decorations. Nagisa had put up mistletoe underneath three doorways, and also carried a bough in the pocket of his red suit. He pulled it out several times during his flitting from guest to guest, already forcing Makoto and Haru to kiss, as well as forcing Rei to kiss him. Also, hung about on whatever sharp edge or corner available were ornaments (because Nagisa didn't have enough room on his tree to fit them all) with crude phrases, like "I've been naughty this year" and "Bad jingle bell bitch". _Where the hell did he_ get _those?_ While Sousuke was in no way innocent, he didn't even know what half of them meant, his aversion to Nagisa only spiking higher.

After about twenty boring, but thankfully uneventful minutes, Sousuke noticed Rin part from the group of people he'd been chatting with, carefully weaving his way towards the kitchen. "Yo," he called out, walking to Sousuke and stopping a few feet in front of him. He put his hands on his hips. "So are you just going to lurk here the whole time?" he asked, a hint of humor in his voice. He tilted his head, his deep maroon hair cascading over his shoulder.

Sousuke merely raised an eyebrow, knowing his answer was quite obvious.

Rin smirked. "You're no fun at all," he complained, although Sousuke could tell he really didn't mean it. He took his hands off of his hips, the smirk morphing into a more genuine smile. "We won't stay much longer," he promised. "You gotta humor Nagisa a little bit, you know?" He reached out and patted Sousuke's arm. "Cheer up." He turned away and returned to the swarm of people.

Sousuke watched Rin return to conversing, before sighing and glancing down at his half-finished drink. He scooted over to the sink and dumped it out. Once the amber liquid disappeared down the drain, he turned back to the party. With a lurch of fear, he noticed Nagisa prowling about with eyes hungry for someone new to embarrass, so he quickly dashed out of the room, hoping he hadn't been spotted. The warbling of "Santa Baby" reverberated painfully in his ears, giving him a throbbing headache. _I need some air._ After quickly checking to see if anyone was behind him, Sousuke went back through the entryway and went back out the front door. He took in a grateful breath of fresh, gingerbread-free air, and sat down on the steps.

Sousuke huffed in relief. He knew Rin wouldn't mind him staying here until it was time to leave, so he wrapped his arms around his bent knees and rested his chin on his arms. He remained there for awhile, just watching the snowy world around him and listening to the dim sounds of the party, peaceful and at ease while waiting for Rin to come find him. But when twenty minutes passed and there was no sign of him, little pinpricks of anxiety made their way into Sousuke's stomach. _He should have found me by now._

He was just about to get up and go back in when the distant noise of voices suddenly grew to a roar. He whipped his head around, frowning, trying to decipher what the voices were saying, but all he could gather was that they were cheering something. _That can't be good_ , he thought, seriously considering making a run for it. Any sort of loud cheer in Nagisa's house did not bode well. He took in a sharp breath, drawing up his courage, before cautiously pushing himself to standing and slipping back inside.

The cheering grew louder as he followed along the hallway, his steps tentative and apprehensive. Eventually, he made it to the source of the noise, a cluster of people in the kitchen area, circled around some focal point. Sousuke stepped to the edge of the cluster, hoping to see what was going on in its center, but even with his height, he couldn't make out anything. Aggravated, he scooted around the length of the outside, thinking he might find a spot where the action was visible, when he suddenly caught a glimpse of deep maroon from beyond the shoulders of the few people in front of him. _Ah, shit._

"Excuse me," Sousuke muttered, awkwardly trying to worm his way through the clump of people blocking his view. "Excuse me." He accidentally elbowed a couple of people in the ribs, although he didn't particularly care, and they appeared to be too drunk or enjoying themselves too much to care either. He managed to get through a couple layers of people, and his sightline cleared, finally getting a good picture of why everyone had congregated to this particular spot.

 _Oh no._

"What, you going to quit?" Rin taunted, slamming an empty shot glass down onto the table before him, his eyes fixed like electrical charges on the person opposite him.

Nanase paused, glancing down at the shot in his own hand, before expertly downing it and setting it beside the eight other discarded shot glasses. He defiantly answered Rin's cajoling with his blunt silence, and although he still wore his neutral, disinterested expression, his blue eyes were alight with competition. His pale cheeks were flushed and splotchy, linked to the empty shot glasses before him.

 _A drinking competition?_ Sousuke rubbed his forehead with his palm, headache resurfacing with a vengeance. _What the hell happened when I was gone?_ His eyes searched over the people around Rin and Nanase, passing over Makoto and Rei spewing words of panic and anxiety to settle on someone at the far corner of the table. "Santa Claus" lounged there, white beard partially obscuring his sneaky grin as he watched Rin and Nanase's duel with delight. But his infectious magenta eyes seemed mostly to preside over something on the table: a large, motley pile of crumpled yen bills.

Disgust coiled in Sousuke's stomach. _Of course,_ he thought bitterly, headache burning. _Nagisa got his party guests to bet on Rin and Nanase_. His jaw clenched. _That little…_ About fifty different words flitted through his head, each one more vicious and scathing than the next, but none of them seemed to fully encapsulate the 5'4" blond and Sousuke's need to sock him in the jaw.

Rin tilted his head back and took another shot, wincing slightly as it traveled down his throat but swallowing it anyway and setting it next to his other empty shot glasses. "Hah!" he cackled, his face an angry crimson that clashed with the maroon of his hair. "See, I'm two ahead!" He leaned forward over the table, aggressively baring his sharp teeth. "Bite me, you apathetic prick!"

"Okay, that's enough." Unable to take it any longer, Sousuke pushed aside a couple of people, not bothering this time to say an "excuse me" or a "sorry". He wormed his way into the center, and looked down at his moronic best friend. Rin looked up at him, sluggishly blinking his fiery eyes. Sousuke folded his arms. "You're going home. _Now_."

Rin sneered contemptuously. "What, and lose to this asshole?" he retorted, pointing a finger to Nanase, whose expression darkened. Rin dropped his arm and narrowed his eyes at Sousuke. "Like _hell_ I am!" he snarled, his voice rising.

 _So much for a peaceful Christmas_ , Sousuke thought, unfolding his arms to rub his temple. _You can take Rin out of the competition but you can't take the competition out of Rin._ Knowing he couldn't reason with Rin in his current state, he chose to go with his next best option: force.

Without a warning, Sousuke quickly leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Rin's waist, hoisting him up over his good shoulder. Rin let out a sharp squawk in surprise at suddenly being picked up, his torso draped over Sousuke's backside. He was heavy, considering he was essentially pure muscle, but nothing Sousuke couldn't handle.

"Oi!" Rin protested. "Put me down!"

Sousuke didn't reply and instead made a move toward the exit, the crowd around him nervously parting to let him through. He ignored Nagisa's "Sou-chan!" and Makoto's "Sousuke-kun!" and the disappointed grumble of the audience and continued through the rest of the house, keeping a firm grip on the belligerent weight on his shoulder.

"OI!" Rin continued to shout as Sousuke found his way to the exit of the house. "Are you listening to me?! Let me go!" When Sousuke continued to ignore him, he pounded his back with his fists. " _Asshole_! You… You're like the Grinch!"

Sousuke snorted, somewhat amused by Rin's drunken rage, but refused to dignify the tantrum with a response. He somehow managed to squeeze through the front door with Rin on his shoulder, the outside immediately blasting them with wintry cold. Once Rin realized that Sousuke was seriously taking him home, he appeared to accept his fate and went limp, though Sousuke could practically see the steam rising from his agitated body. Sousuke carefully made his way back to his car, wary of slipping on a patch of ice and dumping the future gold medalist for swimming onto the frozen earth. Miraculously, he made it to the car in the dark without disaster striking and set Rin back down on his feet.

Rin knew he'd lost, and with a scathing glare, he opened the door of the passenger side and sat down, slamming the door shut. Sousuke almost chuckled, and moved over to the driver's side and slipped in, shutting the door after himself with less force than Rin. After putting on his seatbelt and raising an eyebrow at Rin until Rin grumpily unfolded his arms and put his seatbelt on too, Sousuke turned on the ignition and the car rumbled in response. With a head turned to the back window, he carefully pulled out of the driveway, finally escaping from Nagisa's cheerful, rainbow prison.

They rode in silence, Rin sulking with his head pressed up against the window and Sousuke focused on the dark and winding roads before him. Nagisa's parents' house was a good half an hour away from Rin's mom's, meaning Sousuke had to drive through the snow on the twisty, hilly roads of Iwatobi at 1 A.M. with a grouchy, drunk Rin in tow. Rin always stayed at his mom's house whenever he returned for holidays and had no car of his own in Japan, thus Sousuke was his chauffeur whenever he was at home. Sousuke planned to drop him back off at home, hoping Rin's mom was already asleep so she wouldn't see Rin staggeringly drunk. Though he knew Rin's mom was well acquainted with her son's lifestyle during the holidays, he'd rather spare Rin the lecture.

About fifteen minutes into the drive neither of them had broken the ice yet, although Rin seemed to have cooled off a little. Avid eyes watched the blue tinted snow and trees whir by with a calm expression. Sousuke only glanced at him briefly, just to check on his state, before returning his eyes to the road. He was glad to see Rin calmer. The white lines separating the lanes curved back and forth like a metronome, calming and habitual, easing Sousuke's mind away from Nagisa's dastardly party.

He was so absorbed by the road ahead he didn't notice at first the car slowing, despite his foot pressing the gas pedal. The metronome ticked a decreasing beat, jolting Sousuke out of his reverie. Alarmed, he quickly ducked his head to check the dashboard, but the gas tank was three-quarters full and there were no flashing lights about electrical issues. Nonetheless, the car grinded to a halt, and in its last moments, all Sousuke had the power to do was veer it off the road and onto the shoulder. They shuddered to a stop, wheels beneath them trampling the gray sludge.

"What the hell?" Sousuke growled, glaring at the steering wheel. He reached around to the key, turning the ignition off and on again, but nothing happened. He groaned, fiddling with the key in futile hope before letting his hand fall in defeat. "Dammit." _This is when it pays off to have some knowledge about how cars work_ , he thought regretfully. For some reason, most people assumed he was a car guy, but Rin was far more knowledgeable about cars than he. Knowing this, he turned to Rin, hoping he might have some input.

 _Huh?_

Rin wasn't there. Like a trickle of smoke from an extinguished flame, he'd dissolved into the night outside through the open car door, bone chilling gusts swirling in his wake. Sousuke scrambled in his seat, squinting beyond the frame for some glimpse of red, but he saw only black.

 _Where did Rin go?_

"What the fuck," Sousuke muttered flatly, forehead creasing in agitation. He shook his head. To be honest, it was less of where _did_ Rin go and more of where _could_ he go. The car had petered out quite literally in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but trees and snow for miles. What the hell would Rin leave the warm car _for_?

"Rin?" Sousuke called out softly, almost afraid to penetrate the arctic stillness with his voice. The only response he received was the howling of wind in the trees.

 _Great._

Sousuke hesitantly switched seats to the one by the open door, peering out into the wilderness. Finally, his eyes caught a clue: a trail of footprints in the snow leading away from the car, absolved by darkness about twenty feet away.

 _Where is that moron going?_

Sousuke moved back to his seat and pulled the key out of the ignition. He scooted to the open door and let out a deep, all suffering sigh, faced with the stinging cold beyond it. Drawing up whatever strength he had left, he stepped into the bitterness, his face immediately tingling and his lungs frosting. After pressing the door shut behind him, he locked the car and put the key in his pocket. Although confident no one would be out in this abominable temperature, he felt safer knowing his car was locked.

Glancing back and forth along the road for signs of life, Sousuke trepidatiously stepped forward and began following after the footprints, crunching softly through the hardened snow. Teeth chattering, he shoved his bare hands into his pockets, his fingers going numb. _When will this night end?_ he lamented, huffing. A sharp wind collided into him as he made his way across the blue-white landscape, ruffling his hair and chilling his ears. It was probably one of the coldest nights so far in the season. It was the kind of night that made Sousuke want to sleep for fourteen hours in a warm, comfy bed, not traipse after his stupid best friend in the middle of the godforsaken tundra.

 _I'm going to murder him_.

The footprints led Sousuke through a small thicket of densely populated trees, sinister and shadowy, before they abruptly cut off, revealing a clearing in the midst of the trees. The cold light from the three-quarter moon reflected on the banks of snow, bright and sparkling in Sousuke's pupil. Still standing in the shade of the trees, his eyes followed along the depressions in the otherwise crystalline snow, leading to the image of Rin standing in the center of the clearing. Rin's pale skin was almost the same ghostly shade as the snow around him, accented even more sharply by his jet black jacket and shock of red hair. He appeared to be gazing out at the snow, though his eyes were strangely glassed over and unseeing, an inscrutable expression on his face. There was no noise in the clearing other than the most miniscule rustle of snowflakes landing.

Sousuke felt himself freeze for a moment, captivated by the odd softness of Rin's demeanor. His eyes followed along Rin's profile, lit white from behind. A wash of wind hit Sousuke from the back, snapping him out of his pause and reminding him why he was here. He tentatively took a step into the clearing, his body falling into the icy light of the moon. "Rin!" he hissed, his voice slicing through the tranquil air like a sword.

Rin turned to look at him, his eyes burning with warmth, although they had a strange layer of ice distancing them from Sousuke. He said nothing and merely watched as Sousuke trundled disruptively through the snow towards him.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" Sousuke asked, stopping about three feet away, his hands hiding from the cold in the crevices of his jacket.

Rin stared at him, expressionless, as if he hadn't heard what he'd said. He tilted his head slightly, a puff of visible air escaping his lips. "Thinking," he answered.

"Thinking," Sousuke repeated dubiously.

"Yeah." Rin glanced down at the ground, his eyes thoughtful. "About snow."

"About snow," Sousuke parroted, like this was a normal conversation between him and Rin. "And… why are you thinking about snow?"

"Because, it's so-" Rin cut off, looking like he didn't have the words to describe his thoughts (which Sousuke suspected was accurate, considering the amount of alcohol in his system). He continued to stare at the snow at his feet with such intensity that Sousuke was surprised that he didn't melt a hole in the white with his eyes alone. Suddenly, his head snapped up. "I wonder what it feels like," he blurted.

 _Huh?_ "What the… snow feels like?" Sousuke asked, his brow furrowing in confusion. _What the hell is he talking about?_

Rin remained silent, and lifted his face towards the sky and descending flakes, then returned his sight to the ground. Suddenly, as if possessed, he ripped himself free of his jacket and tossed it to the side, leaving him in just his jeans and t-shirt. Sousuke gawked at him in abject confusion, his brows furrowing. _What…_ Rin paused for a moment, the newly exposed skin of his arms prickling with goosebumps, before he clasped the hem of his shirt and whipped it over his head.

"Rin!" Sousuke exclaimed, alarmed. "What the hell are you-"

After discarding his shirt along with his jacket, Rin stood barechested and shivering in the below freezing temperature. Much to his own annoyance, Sousuke's attention was immediately drawn to Rin's lean and muscular torso, the sinews of his deltoids and his rippling abdominals glowing white underneath the light of the moon. _Dammit_. Sousuke hated how dumbly attracted he was to Rin in this particular moment. He blamed it on the ridiculous amount of time that had passed since he'd last seen Rin, his affections for the asshole only gotten worse. _Get it together!_ Sousuke berated, a command that could apply to both Rin and himself in this situation.

"Rin-"

 _No no no no._

Rin's hands reached to undo the button of his jeans, and he stepped his legs out of the denim, kicking his shoes off in the process. He was not Haru- he didn't wear a swimsuit underneath everything he wore. Instead, he wore what sane people wore: underwear. Specifically, very form fitting, _very_ short black boxers. Sousuke desperately tried to ignore the way his innards tightened, clenching his fists in his pockets. But his torture wasn't over yet; eyes widening in horror and shock, Sousuke watched as Rin took the waistband of his boxers and pulled them away in one swift motion.

An inadvertent wheeze escaped Sousuke's mouth, his mind blotting white. Luckily, Rin wasn't paying attention, having flopped into a bank of pristine snow without a speck of clothing. He melted into the drifts of white, his skin so fair that only the deep red of his hair burned through. Sousuke dimly supposed that this was what Rin meant by "I wonder what it feels like", though it could have easily been answered with "cold and wet" and save the stripping. And save Sousuke's complete ruin.

"R-Rin," Sousuke stammered, managing to find his tongue. _Breathe,_ he told himself, dumbly gulping like a beached trout. He blinked, remembering how cold it was, and how Rin was, by his own alcohol induced choice, in a drift of snow wearing nothing to keep the ice from seeping to his muscles and bones. "Idiot," he muttered, marching to Rin in his snowy throne. Leaning forward, he grabbed ahold of Rin's forearms and yanked him up out of the snow, white dusting to the ground as a limp Rin to came to standing.

"Mmmnnnhhh, Sousuke," Rin mumbled, his eyes foggy and unfocused. He frowned. "You're… the Grinch," he repeated, his words slurring a bit.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sousuke growled, shaking Rin by his forearms.  
"It's below freezing out- do you _want_ to get sick?!"

Rin lifted his eyes to Sousuke's, fog clearing a bit to reveal their usual warmth. "I don't mind the cold," he stated, his voice low. "I have you to warm me up." The corners of his mouth curled upwards into a coy smile. He winked.

A pang hammered Sousuke's stomach with the force of a tsunami, and his mouth gaped open in stunned silence. _Shit._ His mind and other parts of his body couldn't ignore the lewd implications in that, particularly since Rin intended those implications. That irritating, cocky smirk was more than enough to convey Rin's train of thought. But it seemed as if he was playing some sort of game with Sousuke, first with the stripping and second with that comment. His drunken mind was merely enjoying itself by making Sousuke as uncomfortable as possible- and succeeding.

Sousuke ran through a mess of jumbled thoughts trying to find a response, when he became acutely aware of how tightly he gripped Rin's forearms, keeping him from scampering off again. And keeping him close. _Too_ close. A mere few inches away, and Rin wore nothing but a powdery dusting of snow. Sousuke's mind went to red alert, incoherently shouting to back away and get the hell out of there, but instead, he froze, chest constricting his breath.

"Unhh," Sousuke choked. His face steamed as Rin stared back at him, intense and flippant, simultaneously sucking Sousuke in and tossing him to the side. A wave of " _you're such idiot"_ crashed over Sousuke. He could barely meet Rin's eyes, afraid he might disintegrate into a pile of ash in the snow. Trying to keep his composure, he blinked and inhaled sharply.

He looked down.

 _Oh. Oh no._

Sousuke regretted his entire existence.

Like Rin's arms were scalding and sizzling the flesh of his palms, he dropped them and backed away, his face burning. He tore his eyes away from _it_ and dizzily turned to the snow at his feet. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ Blood surged hotly through his body, heartbeat whamming a painful rhythm. _Fuck._ Eyes looking anywhere but Rin, Sousuke moved with unstable legs to Rin's pile of discarded clothing and picked them up, dusting snow from them. He held them out to Rin at his arm's length, his face turned to his feet.

"Put your clothes on," he said gruffly, trying to mask any wavering inflections. "You're _not_ going to get sick because of your stupid ideas."

Rin sighed. "You're no fun," Sousuke heard him complain, an echo of a couple of hours ago. Nevertheless, he reluctantly took the clothes from Sousuke's hand.

Sousuke stayed with his eyes cast to the ground, listening to the soft rustle of fabric sliding over Rin's body and frantically blocking out the mental image the sounds gave him. His body ran at lightning speed, gears churning and whirring with no respect for authority. Still a chorus of " _stupid"_ blasted in his ears, he took a shaky breath. Once the clearing fell to silence, he tentatively raised his eyes, relieved to find Rin dressed again. Rin's expression made it difficult to tell whether he'd noticed Sousuke's panic, and if he had, Sousuke prayed his drunken haze would blot it permanently from his memory.

"Come on," Sousuke said, nodding his head in the direction of the way he'd come. He still couldn't quite look Rin in the eye, so he trained his gaze to the ebony collar of Rin's jacket. "Let's go back to the car."

Rin rolled his eyes and huffed, wobbling a little, but took steps forward to follow after Sousuke. The two of them walked back through the snow and woods in silence, Sousuke's ears ringing and his face still like a habanera, their backwards footprints leading them back to Sousuke's car. Everything was as it had been, taunting Sousuke by reminding him of a simpler time, when his best friend didn't strip and spurt sexual comments. He suddenly longed for Nagisa's party, which really concerned him.

 _There is definitely something wrong with me._

Ignoring Rin, Sousuke quickly drew his keys from his pocket and unlocked the car. He plopped into the still warm driver's seat. In an attempt to divert his attention from what he'd just experienced, he tried to get the car to start, inserting the key into the slot and aggressively ramming it back and forth. The cold stubbornness of the car only added to his hurried fiddling, desperately clinging to the need to get the hell out of there. His irritation and frustration surged as the car refused to bend to his wishes. Hunched over the steering wheel, he emitted a few expletives in a dark, hushed tone.

"Souuuuusuuuuke," Rin's voice suddenly complained from the back, making Sousuke jump. He whipped his head around, finding Rin sprawled out on the back seat, his eyes wide and inquisitory.

" _What_?" he snapped, more harshly than intended.

"I'm cold," Rin said, oblivious to Sousuke's lashing tone.

Sousuke gave him a look that would freeze boiling water. "No shit."

Unfortunately, Rin's drunken state rendered him immune to Sousuke's glare, and he made a pitiful whining noise like a wounded puppy, his mouth turning down into the smallest of frowns. But Sousuke couldn't help but notice his shivering and his pale cheeks, and despite his annoyance, felt a stab of concern. Deep red eyes simpered and pleaded, lit by the combination of a single dingy streetlamp thirty feet away and the three-quarter moon.

"Sousuke," he called again, more sincerely.

Sousuke sighed. _I am such a damn pushover_ , he internally chided as he clambered over the front two seats. Rin, looking smug, scooted into the back of the seat to let Sousuke in beside him. _Damn him._ The back was a bit too short for him and he had to scrunch up his legs to fit, but somehow managed to squish in beside Rin. His hand brushed against Rin's icy and deathly white fingers, trembling with cold. Sousuke's aggravation was immediately eclipsed by concern, and without another thought, he wrapped his arms around Rin's torso and pulled him into his chest.

Rin's eyelids fluttered, his pompous smile replaced by an innocent look of surprise. He stared at Sousuke's face for a second, before exhaling softly and letting his face fall into Sousuke's shoulder. After a moment, he wriggled his arm out and hooked it around Sousuke's lower back, gently tightening his hold. In only a few minutes, his eyes fell shut and his breaths deepened, and he drifted calmly off to sleep, his face nestled into the crook of Sousuke's neck. Sousuke inhaled slowly, beginning to feel a bit drowsy himself. Rin's scent filled his nose, a familiar smell he'd never been able to tangibly define. It was strong and noticeable, but also soft and comforting, with the addition of the crisp tang of snow. Sousuke's mind became permeated with the smell, with Rin's head so close to his he could've pressed a kiss to his hair. He didn't.

Sousuke's vision gradually darkened, leaving him with only Rin's increasing warmth and smell, before those too faded.

* * *

Sousuke knew it was a bad morning before opening his eyes.

First, his head was uncomfortably pressed against the hard door with his neck at a crooked angle. Second, he could barely breathe because of a heavy weight sitting right on his chest. And third, that weight told him that Rin was still asleep, which was a bad sign unto itself. Sousuke _never_ woke up before Rin. Rin was the early riser, the one who dragged Sousuke out of bed, the one magically awake and energetic before noon. If he was still asleep, it was going to be a bad morning for the both of them.

Blinding white light assaulted Sousuke the second he cracked open his eyes. An inadvertent groan slipped out of him and he slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. His neck ached from being jammed against the car door, and he desperately wanted to dislodge himself from his prison and release the tension in his neck, but he couldn't do so without shifting around and potentially waking Rin. Rin's head lay directly on his chest, rising and falling with his breaths, a mess of red hair splattered across the fabric of his shirt. Rin's arms remained encircled around the small of Sousuke's back, having somehow maintained their tight grip through the night.

A sharp cramp sparked in Sousuke's neck, making him wince and bite his lip. _Ugh._ He decided to tempt fate and try to get out of that position, lest he cause permanent damage to his neck. With the smallest of movements, he slowly and methodically scooted on his back away from the door, so as not to disturb Rin. While his neck thankfully stretched out, his back uncomfortably scuffled over the hard plastic seatbelt, and he arched away in surprise, accidentally jostling Rin. _Shit._ Rin's face fell straight into the back seat, his nose and face smushing into the upholstery. _Brilliant, Sousuke._ Unaccustomed to the smell and pressure of the upholstery, Rin snuffled loudly and choked out a cough.

Unfortunately, Rin was now awake and lifted his head off of Sousuke's chest, deep maroon locks mussed and disastrous. He turned his gaze to Sousuke with his brow furrowed, eyes bloodshot and foggy with gloomy dark circles underneath.

"Sousuke?" he mumbled, his voice crackly and scruffy with sleep. Through half shut eyes, he looked at Sousuke, unseeing. Gradually, he blinked the sleep away until his eyes were clear and conscious. In a panic, he noticed his and Sousuke's awkward entanglement, his eyes flashing in horror. He ripped his arms away from Sousuke and lurched his torso up, using one of his now free hands to push himself back to sitting. However, in his hurry, he didn't pay attention to the placement of his hand, and pushed with painful force against Sousuke's crotch.

"Ow!" Sousuke hissed through gritted teeth, jerking backwards and smacking the crown of his head into the car door. "Shit!" Ears ringing and vision swaying, Sousuke scooted to lean with his back against the door, clutching his throbbing head.

Rin groaned, his face in his hands. "Fuck," he swore through his fingers. He dropped his hands to his lap, his eyes dark and lifeless. "Sorry," he muttered to Sousuke, squinching his eyes and rubbing his forehead with his palm.

Sousuke took in a couple of deep breaths, letting the pain from the back of his head and between his legs simmer down before sitting upright. "So…" he began, wary of Rin's grave expression. "How much do you remember from last night?"

Rin continued to furtively rub his forehead, most likely in opposition to a blinding migraine. "Enough," he said shortly, his eyes sour. "Nagisa being a sneaky bastard, drinking with Haru, you dragging me out…" He trailed off, letting his hand still, his eyebrows cinching in concentration. "After that it gets kinda foggy. All I remember is being really cold." Sighing, he closed his eyes.

"Ah, yeah," Sousuke coughed, pulse quickening. He felt it was his responsibility to tell Rin what he'd done, but he had no clue how to phrase it. A lump formed in his throat and he quickly swallowed. "Well… My car broke down… and you, uh… went out into the snow and took your clothes off because you wanted to know what the snow felt like."

Rin's eyes bugged out in mortification. "What?" he squawked, pale cheeks tinted pink. Sousuke could do nothing sit there in pathetic silence, and Rin moaned and put his face in his hands again, his elbows resting on his knees. His slender fingers raked through messy crimson. "I fucking hate Nagisa," he growled, voice muffled.

Sousuke stayed quiet, unable to think of something to say to make the situation or Rin's hangover any less awful. An awkward silence hung over them, both humiliated and busy pretending the other wasn't there. Sensing the conversation had reached its uncomfortable end, Sousuke jumped at the chance to distract himself and climbed to the front of the car. He sat down in the driver's seat, taking out his keys and reinstating his abandoned attempts to get the hell out of there. To his immense surprise and relief, when he turned the key, the car rumbled to life. A flood of heat immediately rushed from the vents.

" _Now_ it works," Sousuke said under his breath.

"It was probably something with the spark plug, because of the cold last night," Rin supplied, startling Sousuke by plopping down beside him in the passenger's seat.

"Ah," Sousuke replied, pretending to know what that meant. He glanced at Rin, who pulled the seatbelt across his chest and clicked in place.

Rin reclined back into his seat with an exhausted exhale. He looked at Sousuke. "Let's get out of here," he said, his voice drained.

Without another word, Sousuke shifted into drive and moved off the shoulder and back onto the now bright and sunny road. They said nothing as they swerved around on the twisty roads, both of them too tired and sucked into regret to think of anything. Sousuke kept his eyes to the road and Rin leaned against the window again, glowering slightly. The road morphed into a waving white line amidst the charcoal concrete, all surrounded by blazing white in what Sousuke now knew was the early afternoon.

Though the ride was stiff and awkward, they quickly arrived at Rin's mom's house. Sousuke pulled into the driveway, assuming by its vacancy that neither Rin's mom nor Gou were at home. _Thank god._ He stopped the car about twenty feet from the house, the lights dying as he shut off the ignition. Out of the corner of his eye, he sneaked a look at Rin. He felt like he should say something to summarize the night they'd had, but nothing but " _Thanks for subjecting me to a torrent of horrific embarrassments!"_ came to mind. He scratched the back of his head, racking his brain for something that wasn't completely bitter and negative.

"So," Rin suddenly said, interrupting Sousuke's train of thought. "Today's the twenty-third." He shifted, lazily draping an arm over the headrest of his seat.

"Yeah, it is," Sousuke responded. "And?"

"That means tomorrow is the twenty-fourth," Rin announced.

"I'm glad you can count."

Rin's mouth dropped down into a displeased grimace and his jaw clenched, fiery red eyes flickering dangerously. His message was clear: _Don't mess with me today_. "And that means," he continued, ignoring Sousuke's comment, "Gou will bring Mikoshiba to Christmas Eve dinner, and Mom will drool all over him and then pester me about how come I never bring anyone home, and I will be _this_ close to gouging my eyes out with a spoon." He demonstrated how close _this_ was by holding his index finger and thumb less than a centimeter away from each other. "So I need you to stop being such an ass so you can come pick me up and get me the hell out of there."

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. "Ah," he replied. "You're assuming that I don't already have plans?"

Rin scoffed. "Please, you'd drop anyone to hang out with me," he answered, lips curving into an arrogant smile. "I'm your favorite."

 _Yeah, you are,_ Sousuke grudgingly agreed. On the outside, he rolled his eyes. "Fine," he sighed. "What time am I supposed to get you the hell out of there?"

"I think around four," Rin decided. "So it seems to my mom like we have actual plans and I'm not just avoiding dinner."

"I'll be here at four, then."

"Brilliant," Rin said, sarcastic and unenthusiastic. He opened the car door and unbuckled his seatbelt, his hand raising into a limp wave. "See you."

"See you."

Sousuke waited until Rin had disappeared into the house before pulling out of the driveway.

* * *

As promised, Sousuke arrived at the Matsuoka household at four on Christmas Eve, ready to get Rin the hell out of there. Warm, golden light filtered out from the windows, and he could see a modest but colorful Christmas tree in the corner of the living room window. The house looked far more inviting than Nagisa's overdone trainwreck, perhaps because he'd spent almost all of his enjoyable Christmases there. Or perhaps it merely was because Sousuke could actually look at the house without going blind or developing indigestion.

Within a minute of him pulling into the driveway, Rin emerged from the house, wearing a dark charcoal hooded jacket and a scarf in a deep, lustrous shade of red that complimented the color of his hair and eyes. He quickly strode away from the front door, his chin tucked down and buried in his scarf, traveling across the well-tread patch of snow leading away from the house. Sousuke unlocked his car door (paranoid as he was) as Rin came up to the side of the car and ripped the door open, letting in a blast of cold air as he hopped into the passenger's seat, his cheeks and nose ruddy.

"Thank god," he exhaled, visibly relieved, shutting the door behind him. He settled back into the seat, taking his hands from his pockets. "Gou decided to bring Mikoshiba early." He looked at Sousuke with such despair that Sousuke bit back a laugh. "I've been contemplating murder since _one_."

Sousuke laughed at that, and the dour expression on Rin's face. Despite himself, Rin gave him a rueful smile. "Let's go."

Sousuke nodded in assent, but just as he gripped the steering wheel, the front door of the house burst open, golden light spilling out and framing Rin's mother, who waved her hands frantically. "Yoohoo! Wait a moment!" she called, her voice carrying across the driveway and into Sousuke's car. "I want to say hello to Sousuke-kun!"

"Oh, hell no," Rin hissed. He turned to Sousuke. "Drive. Quickly."

Sousuke dropped his hands to his lap. "It's your mom," he said, raising his eyebrows. "I can't not say hello to her."

Rin knew Sousuke considered her to be like a second mom to him (and for all his complaining, Sousuke knew Rin loved her to death), so he said nothing, sinking back into his seat and folding his arms.

Sousuke unbuckled his seatbelt, opening his door and exiting his car's warmth. After slamming the heat in behind him, he left Rin to lurk in the car and made his way through the grungy, trampled snow. The front door of the house was ajar, where Rin's mom stood with her arms wrapped around herself, wearing only a sweater.

"Hello, Akane-san," he said as he drew closer, smiling politely.

"It's been so long!" She unwrapped her arms and held them out embracingly. "Come here."

Sousuke obediently stepped into her arms, giving her a hug. She was around Gou's height, so it felt like he was hugging a small child. Like Rin, she too had a distinct, familiar smell, something both sturdy and gentle.

She released him and fondly patted his shoulder, a wide smile on her face. "Come in, come in!" she said, waving him in. "I have something I want to talk to you about."

 _That can't be good,_ Sousuke thought as he nodded and let himself be led into the house, smile nervously plastered to his face. He quickly turned just before going in and waved his hand in apology to Rin, who he could practically hear snarling from the car. He gratefully entered the warm house, indistinct voices he assumed to be Gou and Mikoshiba's coming from another room. Rin's mom closed the door behind them and stood with her hands on her hips, looking up into Sousuke's face.

"Now, Sousuke-kun," she said, voice shifting to a sterner tone. Like Rin and Gou, she had deep red hair, although hers was graying at the roots, and her eyes contained the same intensity and authority as theirs too. The resemblance between her and her children unnerved Sousuke. "I know you're going to a university in Tokyo. For sports medicine?"

Sousuke nodded, unsure of where this was going.

"And of course, Rin's training in Australia," she continued, with an unreadable expression.

"Yeah."

She paused, a mysterious smile spreading across her lips. "I'm sure you miss him," she said casually, although her eyes gleamed strangely.

 _Okay…?_ "Uh," Sousuke replied. "Yeah."

"Well, I know he may not say so, but he misses you a lot," she told him.

Sousuke didn't have anything to say to that, frozen in place with his hands nervously jammed into his pockets. _Where is she going with this?_

A buzzing silence swallowed them as Sousuke awaited some indication of what Rin's mom was trying to get at, the tick of the wall clock pricking his ears. _Please, can we get this over with?_

Finally, Rin's mom sighed. "Sousuke-kun," she said, stepping forward to rest her hands on Sousuke's shoulders. She looked up at him with large, all-suffering eyes. "Don't be as stupid as my son."

That certainly hadn't been what Sousuke expected. "Huh?"

She rolled her eyes as if to confirm that yes, Sousuke was as stupid as Rin. "I can't keep waiting around forever. Just ask him out, dammit."

For about the tenth time in the past two days, Sousuke found all forms of verbal communication and coherency ripped away from him. "W-Wha-," he stuttered, taken aback. _No no no no no._

Rin's mom looked pleased at his visible mortification, taking it as an opportunity to be "The Mom" and gently pat him on the shoulder, a knowing look in her eye. "It's okay, pal," she cooed, attempting to rub his shoulder soothingly. She continued that for a solid ten seconds, perhaps the one of the most awkward ten seconds of Sousuke's life, before slapping across his upper arm. "Now, off you go," she said, lightly pushing him to the door. "And after you ask him, give him a good punch from me." She winked.

Without even getting a word in, Sousuke was unceremoniously dumped onto the front step with a "Don't look so nervous!" called out to him before the door slammed shut. Eyes blinded by the glaring snow, Sousuke mind veered off into insanity.

 _What the fuck was that?_

"Oh no." Why did all these things happen to _him?_ What had he done to deserve this? It took all his willpower not to crumple into a ball on the ground and refuse to move.

He glanced up at the car and saw Rin's shadowy form awaiting him. _Calm down, Sousuke. Don't be stupid._ With a deep inhale, he assumed a facade of normalcy, and took a few shaky steps to traipse back to the car. The minute he opened the door, Rin sat up, and Sousuke held his breath.

"What the hell was that about?"

"She asked me about university and Tokyo," Sousuke lied, focusing his attention to his seatbelt and starting the car.

Rin's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Mm," he grunted. He didn't sound particularly convinced, but he surprisingly didn't prod any further and relaxed back into his seat.

Sousuke waited until they were out of the Matsuokas' driveway (away from Rin's mom) and on the main street before looking to Rin again. "Where do you want to go?" he asked, slowing his speed a bit.

"Wherever," Rin answered, eyes already gazing out the window. "I don't care."

Sousuke ended up taking them to Samezuka's campus, partially because he knew Rin probably would like to visit their old school, and partially because it was one of the few places he knew how to get to from the Matsuokas' house. The campus was completely deserted, unsurprising on Christmas Eve, so Sousuke parked in an empty teacher's lot. They hopped out of the car and stood for a moment, surveying the familiar buildings around them. It'd been around two years since they'd last been at Samezuka, and nothing had changed, but the campus still had a sense of "this isn't quite the same".

Done with merely staring, Rin stepped forward and began moving to the worn pathway leading around the campus. Sousuke quickly followed in suit and came to his side. In comfortable silence, the two of them made their way around the humanless school, muscle memory taking over as old habits of walking to classes returned. They strayed away from the academic halls and made their way down the path framed by trees. Sousuke recognized the tree under which he'd told Rin about his shoulder, a muted feeling of melancholy and regret passing over him. He wondered if Rin noticed it too and glanced to his side. Rin's downcast eyes and clenched jaw were enough proof that he did.

They passed the tree and continued, the late afternoon sun flickering on their faces through the leafless branches. Sousuke noted a divergence in the path up ahead, the left leading to buildings of dorms, and the right to extracurricular buildings. _Of course,_ he thought, resisting a smile. _Rin would want to see the pool._ He couldn't deny his own nostalgia for the place, although he knew Rin's was far more intense. Rin had figured himself out here, after all, before Sousuke joined him.

So the two of them came to the split ways, and Sousuke continued along the right. He stopped short when noted the absence of Rin to his side and whipped around to find Rin paused as well, but standing on the path heading to the left.

"Uh," Sousuke said, confused. "Are we not going to the pool?"

Rin straightened up, tilting his head. "Yeah, _I_ am," he answered slowly, eyebrows knitting together. "Where are _you_ going?"

"To the pool." It seemed pretty obvious to Sousuke.

Rin gaped at him in disbelief. "Are you serious," he stated more than asked.

"What?"

Rin looked at him with an expression of dawning amusement and pity. "Jesus Christ," he sighed, rubbing his forehead. He lifted his eyes and arched an eyebrow. "Only you could get lost trying to find the pool you _spent every day at for a year_."

"W-What?" Sousuke stammered, his recently cooled mortification heating up again. "I'm not lost-"

Rin's snickering drowned him out. "Sousuke," Rin wheezed, trying to hold back laughter. "How do you manage in _Tokyo_?"

"I'm fine-"

"So you get lost at least once a week, then," Rin deduced, smirking. Chuckling, he stepped forward and grabbed Sousuke by the wrist to pull him in the right direction. "Honestly, what do you do without me?" His eyes glittered with mischievous glee.

Sousuke couldn't find an adequate response to that and remained silent, letting Rin drag him along. Rin looked in far higher spirits than he had for most of the past two days, considering his favorite pastime was torturing Sousuke. Although disgruntled about being the butt of a joke, Sousuke let Rin's teasing slide without rebuttal for once, somehow pleased at that insidious look of delight on Rin's face. He just wanted the damn asshole to have a good Christmas, and if that meant he was his source of amusement, so be it.

Sousuke recognized the pathway up ahead and realized that he had in fact been mistaken about the location of the pool, not that he would ever cave in and admit it to Rin. Sooner than he thought, the athletic hall came into view, memories of high school and swimming and a lot of Rin passing through his mind. Rin still held his wrist, even though they'd been walking this way for about three minutes and Sousuke was confident he could walk just fine on his own without getting lost at this point. His wrist tingled at Rin's touch, flaring out in waves up his forearm and down to the tips of his fingers.

" _Just ask him out, dammit."_

An uncontrollable shudder rippled through him at the memory of his "conversation" with Rin's mom, although he'd been mulling over for years that particular topic. He'd come to the conclusion that it was easier said than done _._ With so much time to harbor his feelings and constantly run through them and evaluate them, that he could barely picture voicing them. And after he voiced them, his picture completely clouded over, with Rin's response a mystery.

Though, Rin's mom appeared to have confidence in Rin's feelings and Sousuke's ability.

Perhaps she shouldn't have had confidence in the latter.

"Do you miss me?" Sousuke blurted out of the blue, his mouth moving before his mind could catch up.

 _Shit._

Rin stopped in his tracks and turned to face Sousuke. "Eh?" He tilted his head, looking confused. "In Australia?" A puzzled, but bemused smile appeared on his lips. "Of course I do, you moron." He lightly kneed Sousuke in the shin. "What, are you worried that I don't think of you every single second of every single day?" He raised his eyebrows.

"No, I-" _I fucked up._ There was no good way out of this. Sousuke cursed his strong ability of containing emotions and thoughts for failing him in the one moment he needed it most. Hoping to rectify the situation, he took in a painful breath. "I… miss you," he mumbled, looking at the ground. "A lot." _Dammit._

Rin's eyes narrowed, his fingers curling tighter around Sousuke's wrist. "Sousuke…" he said, his voice curious and inquisitive. He stilled, his eyes focused like lasers on Sousuke, waiting for him to finish his thought. For all his brashness and loudness, Rin always knew when to silence himself.

Although honestly, Sousuke preferred Rin to rant and overwhelm him with a barrage of questions because at the moment, his mind was a black hole, sucking in any coherency, and he could do nothing but squirm underneath Rin's hot gaze. He opened his mouth, and closed it, and opened it again, but the words weren't coming. _I am such an idiot._ In imagining this scenario, he'd been a lot smoother.

Rin almost looked concerned at Sousuke's pathetic display, his forehead creasing in worrying lines. Sousuke's heart rate picked up as he stared at Rin's face, his own anxiety somehow transferring over to Rin. _Say something. Anything._

What were words again?

With much struggling, Sousuke's mind finally latched onto something concrete. "Your mom told me to punch you," he blabbed, spouting the first thing he came to.

Sousuke entertained thoughts of burying himself in a deep, dark hole where no one could find him.

Rin squinted at him, his mouth dropping open in bafflement. "What the _fuck?_ " His voice deepened, his look of concern shifting to irritated bafflement. He blinked a couple of times, looking like he was trying to decipher an annoying problem. "Why did my mom tell you to punch me?!"

"She- I-" Sousuke was in a tight corner now. A dim part of him suggested just _asking_ Rin out, but that was too logical and reasonable for the rest of him to accept in its current state. What little inspiration for words he'd managed dried up, and he fumbled like a gnat in molasses.

It couldn't get any worse, he supposed.

Rin's eyes were trained so attentively on Sousuke's face, waiting for some sort of explanation. His inflamed outburst cooled and he now appeared serious and uncertain, his knuckles turning white as he gripped Sousuke's wrist. Sousuke forced himself to look at him, his chest tightening and his stomach churning as he took in his best friend, red hair warmed by rays of afternoon sun and maroon eyes reflecting his own image back at him.

 _Get your shit together, Sousuke,_ he growled to himself. _You've successfully handled a lot more than this. What are you so afraid of? It's just stupid, annoying, crybaby Rin._ He couldn't let himself be defeated by the great idiot Matsuoka Rin.

He opened his mouth.

"I love you."

Rin's eyes grew to vibrant dinner plates, the tiniest hint of rosiness coloring his cheekbones. His mouth softly parted in an almost cute look of shock, before he blinked and his expression abruptly hardened. With a low growl, he planted a sharp kick to Sousuke's shin.

"Ow!" Sousuke squawked, stumbling back, doubled over in pain. He looked up to Rin through his bangs, feeling insulted. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"You prick!" Rin snarled, baring his knifelike teeth. "That's _all?!_ By your expression, I thought you were about to tell me that you were dying or something!" His chest heaved up and down, and his face was entirely pink. "Don't do that to me!" He aimed another kick at Sousuke's shin.

Still crippled with stinging pain, Sousuke hobbled out of the way of Rin's trajectory, just narrowly missing another foot in his shin. Once the imminent crisis was averted, he fully stood up, gears processing what Rin had said. "Oh," he breathed, pieces clicking together. "So you-"

"Yeah, I love you!" Rin barked, flush spreading to the tips of his ears. His teeth glimmered menacingly as he defensively folded his arms. "So what?!"

Sousuke finally cracked a smile and he chuckled lightly, tilting his head back. So his deep shame for himself wasn't _all_ for nothing. He'd regained the upperhand, and this time it was Rin sputtering and embarrassed instead of himself. It felt good to know that Rin was just as much of a mess as he was, and he immensely enjoyed Rin's biting look of contempt and the faint mutters of "asshole". Smirking, he stepped forward with renewed confidence and cupped Rin's jaw to pull him into a kiss, their lips colliding with electricity.

Rin's anger was short lived- it took only a couple of seconds into the kiss before he wrapped his arms around Sousuke's neck and drew him closer, his mouth pressing into Sousuke's with hungry force. His lips parted, and Sousuke could feel the heat of his breath, needy and inviting. Obliging, Sousuke ran the tip of his tongue along the rim of Rin's mouth, nerves sparking at his taste. Rin had the bite and warmth of a slice of ginger, coupled with the soft delicacy of cherry blossom. An unusual combination, but the pit of Sousuke's stomach curled in response and he slid his tongue in further, wanting more. Not to be outdone, Rin nipped at Sousuke's bottom lip, drawing out a soft groan.

Some unknown time period later, the sun fading into the west as the afternoon progressed, Sousuke's fingers were now teasing and weaving through silky crimson as Rin keened softly against him. They kissed with fierceness and competition, constantly finding ways to one-up the other or spurn a particular reaction. Though of course, in this scenario, neither particularly cared who won or lost, and it all melted into a dazed endorphin rush anyways. But as Sousuke's hand moved to stroke the soft skin at the base of Rin's neck, Rin impulsively chomped down on Sousuke's lip, daggers puncturing through tender skin.

"Oi!" Sousuke yanked himself away, blood immediately welling up and dribbling down his chin. He swiped at it with his hand, looking at the smear of rust on the back of his palm before fixating on Rin. "What the hell was that for?!"

Rin cocked his head, locks of ruffled hair falling to the side. "Marking my property," he joked, grinning.

Sousuke gave him a flat look. "I'm not your property," he grumbled, wiping again as another drop of blood fell.

Rin slyly arched an eyebrow. "You know you like it," he purred, stepping into Sousuke's chest and breathily pulling him in again.

 _Dammit_ , thought Sousuke distractedly, the salty tang of blood now on his tongue and Rin's. _I do like it._

Sousuke knew that years from this moment, he'd remember this Christmas as the worst and the best Christmas he'd ever had. Unless, of course, something worse happened next year, or the year after that. He really hoped that wasn't the case. It couldn't be too much to want a peaceful Christmas just _once_ in his life.

Although with Rin, there was no such thing. And Sousuke was a sucker for Rin.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **UPDATE: My life magically imitated my own writing? So I have a friend who is basically real-life Nagisa; she's small, cute, blond, outgoing, seems really sweet and innocent on the outside, but she's actually wonderfully sinful and often instigates questionable events. On this past Friday, there was a Christmas party, and she wasn't the one hosting it, so she BROUGHT HER OWN MISTLETOE so she could get a picture of her and her boyfriend kissing underneath it. And then she used the mistletoe to force our other friend and her boyfriend to kiss. I just. Wow. Where does the fanfiction end and the reality begin? I can't tell anymore.**

 **-thus ends the interlude into MufasasPride's real life-**

 **Santa and Satan are anagrams, you know. -winks-**

 **I took some liberties with Rin's mom since she basically doesn't exist in the plot, and her personality ended up like some unholy Gou/Nagisa/Makoto combination? I don't even know. I also couldn't find her first name, so I went with Akane, since "aka" means red.**

 **Two songs I really felt while writing this were Snow by Red Hot Chili Peppers and Australia by The Shins. Not only do I like how they sound, but their titles and even the band names are quite fitting. "Snow" and "Australia" are pretty self explanatory, and Rin kicks Sousuke in the shins a lot in this, and I am 100% certain that Rin's spirit vegetable is a jalapeno, so. The coincidences are pretty perfect.**

 **Now that exams are done, I can devote my time to getting back into my Makoharu fic, which I haven't worked on in forever because I've been spending my free time on this. So hopefully that'll be updated soon, since it's been almost two months -screm-.**

 **As always, you can find me on my personal tumblr at broniichan and my joint _Free!_ tumblr with sexythroatbitchohyescats at suckmybutterfly. **

**Anywho, hope you liked this, and hope you have happy holidays!**


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